Lately, I’ve been diving deeper into understanding the nervous system, how it works, how it shapes nearly every aspect of our lives, and, importantly, how to work with it rather than against it. The tools I’ve been learning have been life changing in many aspects of my life, especially at night when I struggle with sleep they’ve become my first line of defense against insomnia.
A couple of weeks ago, I participated in an equine experience focused on the nervous system. Initially, I signed up simply to connect with the beautiful and awe inspiring animal that is the horse. But what I received from the experience went far beyond anything I expected, and I’m beyond grateful for it.
To truly connect with the horse, I had to quiet my mind and engage energetically, not just physically. If I couldn’t hold that connection, the horse would simply walk away. It had been years since I’d last been around horses (since I was twelve), so to say I was rusty is an understatement. On top of that, I was put in what the coach called “the hot seat”, just me and the horse alone in the corral, while everyone else in the group stood behind the fence watching my every move.
I felt so exposed, and when the horse didn’t respond to me, my inner critic kicked in hard: “You’re failing. Everyone’s watching. They think you’re a failure too.” I had to push through that narrative, shut off the noise in my head, and be present with the horse.
At one point, I was told to lead the horse, and instinctively, I walked ahead expecting it to follow. But the lesson was not about pulling or controlling, it was about moving side by side, connecting without force. When I finally relaxed and we found that connection, it was absolute magic. By the end of the session, I was able to play, dance, and move with the horse as if we were one.
Another big lesson at that experience came when we approached two gates that led to sweet, tempting grass, essentially candy for a horse. I had to convince myself, and by extension the horse, that I was just as interesting, just as worthy, just as fun as the grass. The coach told me to look past the gates, to envision myself and the horse already walking by, even before we reached them. It took a few tries, but when I did it with a clear head and heart, we crossed effortlessly. The sense of accomplishment was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had.
Fast forward to this trip in Mexico a week later, where I just wrapped up a few solid days of surfing a decent sized swell. Once again, the lessons came rushing back.
I’ve surfed on and off for years, but I still consider myself a novice. I love surfing for many reasons, but mostly because every session presents life lessons, makes me extremely present, and teaches me something new.
This time, as I stood on the beach watching the powerful waves roll in from the building swell, my stomach was in knots. It had been six months since I’d last surfed, basically an eternity in surf time. As my guide Ponchito said, “surfing is like a jealous lover, it doesn’t like when you are away”. As I paddled out and waited for the next set, the old, familiar doubts crept in: “You don’t belong. Everyone else is better than you.” If I missed a wave, the voice would get louder: “Great, now everyone sees that you don’t belong too.”
These thoughts made me hold back, miss waves, or let others take them even when I had priority because deep down, I felt I didn’t belong or would mess it up anyway. The very moment you start to second guess yourself in surfing, you’ve already missed the wave, even if it’s still behind you. But after some time, I caught myself. I paused and realized I needed to change the story in my head because I’m tired of these thoughts being that critic. They aren’t helping and I would never speak to anyone else this way, so why am I speaking to myself this way?
The next day, I went out with a new set of tools. I created mantras and paired them with breathwork to keep me calm. As I spotted a wave on the horizon, I’d tell myself with full conviction down to my every cell, “This one is mine. I belong here.” That helped me connect with the wave energy and find what I call the “energy ball”, the point where the wave has the most power. By doing so, I could then position myself just right to paddle with the wave’s speed and truly connect with the wave.
Alongside the mantras, I added something even more powerful, I shifted my focus away from criticizing myself and started noticing the fun and positive things I was doing. Instead of overanalyzing every mistake or comparing myself to others, I leaned into the feeling of play and positivity. Suddenly, it wasn’t about performance or proving anything to anyone, including myself. It was about joy, connection, and the sheer pleasure of being out there.
That change in perspective transformed everything. Not only did my surfing improve, but the entire experience became fun, which is the whole point! The self imposed pressure was gone and it started to feel more like an adventure. And that, I realized, was a huge win.
Just like walking side by side with the horse, surfing also requires me to sync with the wave’s rhythm. For example, when the moment would come to pop up, I had to fight the instinct to look down as the wave jacked up (which screams to your brain, danger! because these were decent sized waves). Instead, I focused on where I wanted to go, which was down the line of the wave, and envisioned myself there before I even got there. I trusted my instinct and my skill and just went for it. Every time I did this, it felt like magic again. My brain, body, spirit and wave synced as one, and a beautiful dance known as surfing would begin. I would ride the wave, reading its nuances, feeling its rhythm, and just play. Time would slow, and the world would glow.
It’s not often that life threads its lessons so perfectly across such different experiences, but I’m learning that when there are lessons to be had, life will keep presenting them as practice until we truly get it.
These experiences remind me that life’s most meaningful moments happen when we surrender control, trust our instincts, and step fully into where we belong. Whether that’s beside a horse, on a wave, or in the spaces where adventure, beauty, and resilience meet.
At Neon Skull, we design for that spirit. Our pieces aren’t just about looking good (though you will), they’re about feeling confident, strong, and alive in every experience. Whether you’re diving into the ocean, dancing under the sun, or simply facing your own quiet challenges, our swimwear is made to support the version of you who shows up boldly, with an open heart and a resilient spirit.
Because life isn’t just about where you go, it’s about how you meet each moment along the way. And at Neon Skull, we’re here to help you meet it beautifully.